So, I was at an event the other day and noticed a kid walked in with his mother and they sat in front of me.
I was like " oh look it's that kid from the other day " , but this time he had a dinosaur toy in his hand.
All my old memories flooded into my head, I had all these thoughts and past memories banging against my brain.
I had always wanted to be a paleontologist. Back when I was a kid, they would ask ... What do you want to be when you grow up, expecting an answer like " astronaut, doctor, engineer, rich, popular, president" or something mundane. I always said " paleontologist, now think about it, how funny was it for a kid to say paleontology, I mean, I didn't even say it right !. I was really into dinosaurs and researching about their life and existence in the past. I would love the thrill of the find, having to dig and excavate different parts of a dinosaur bone was considered exciting for me. I was a huge dino nut, for all intensive purporses, knew every dinosaur from the tiniest to the largest, and what they ate, where they lived, what time period where they alive from and to, what might have been their lifestyle, which of them did what and what was the most unique thing about every one of them. I would sit up wondering what the world would be like, if they roamed our lands now.
Then the strangest thing happened, I started to grow up. School's started becoming very serious about subject selection and focusing on a career, and "what do you want to become when you grow up?" questions turned into negative statements like " What will you become when you grow up !!". The days started to feel colder and less interesting as schools started to take control of your life. I never realized this until much later but there was this subconscious sense of pressure that schools and society started enforcing upon myself. Slowly I turned away from dinosaurs, shows about dinosaurs became YouTube videos explaining algebra and geometry, and surely trying to read about newly discovered dinosaurs were no longer a priority. The books and toys that I had, about dinosaurs all disappeared behind stacks physics, English, math, geography, history, biology textbooks and past papers. These were now the main focus of my life and my goal's were changed. It wasn't a sudden, wake up in the morning and realize I need to study hard, it was so subtle that once you realized you had drifted away, it was too late.
Well times changed and the dream of being a paleontologist died, it was a small part of my childhood that died along with it, and I guess society 1 and Jeffrey 0. Maybe if I had fought a little harder I would have been a paleontologist now, or maybe it wasn't meant to be, I guess we'll never know. There is something about a child's mind and thoughts that is free. Growing up is definitely a part of life, but it does not necessarily have to change your views entirely. As a child you have more freedom and power of imagination than any grownup can ever experience. That age when you can become a tiger by just thinking about it, climbing a mountain because you thought you could, fly above all man and watch over them like an eagle because you wanted to and didn't doubt science - relationship between the body mass and the gravitational force didn't matter, because you were a kid with an imagination that could take you places. Then you grow up, views change, ideas change, people change. The same person who told you, "you can become anything you want" tells you that " you need to follow what others say if you want to fit in with society, you're not a kid anymore", you have hit rock bottom, the end.
Society, the plague of the 20th century. A system that decides who does what and when, a group of powerful people who are in power because of fraud, corruption and greed deciding our fate. I still know system's that decide the fate of a student based on marks that they get for an exam. Exams that you write which defines you as smart or not , gifted or not, have a future or don't. Motivational video's out there tell you " break free from this hold of the world, be free and do what your heart tell's you to", Yet .. we are all afraid, because we are comfortable. Fear of risk. A fear that was put in everyone by the society.
I wanna be free, and i will be free ... I AM NOW AN ARTIST ...... and a couple of years down the line .... I WILL STILL BE AN ARTIST..... people will not take away this from me... society will not take this away from me ....
That kid with the dinosaur reminded me that because i let my guard down I lost the chance of being a paleontologist. Now i know.
BRING IT !!!
SOCIETY CANNOT BREAK ME !
DRAW OR DIE !